Shyness
This weekend, I have been fighting the worst bout of shyness in probably twenty years, if not more.
I invite a shyness coach into the picture. Someone who can give me come-out-of-my-shell exercises and who will teach me to interact with people in a professional setting without clamming up.
I know why it's been up for me this weekend, and I need to safeguard against it happening again.
I walked into a cocktail party last night and was so afraid to be confronted with a room full of people I didn't know. I eventually made a few friends, but it was terrifying and I spent the first few minutes text messaging so I looked like I had something to do. That's so bad, I know.
And, strangely... I was shy as a kid, then seemed to shake it as a teenager and in my early twenties, but just in the last couple of years, it has come back. I don't feel like it's ego-related, though perhaps everyone would argue with that, but I feel like my self-image is healthier that ever. Hmm... maybe that's it, maybe when I felt bad about myself, I overcompensated by somewhat lacking inhibition when it came to talking to people. So, perhaps now that I feel like Amy Guth Is Okay Just As She Is, I don't feel like overcompensating. But, that really wouldn't explain the fear of walking up to a stranger and talking.
Discuss.
posted by Amy Guth @ 9:42 AM
3 Comments:
Ah Amy, I know that feeling so well. My friend Hannah is an excellent coach. When we were in Israel, she forced me to talk to people, her opening line?
"What are the first three digits of your social security number?" That tells you where someone was born and can start a conversation.
Also, remember that you are at a literary conference as a published novelist. That pretty much rocks! You aren't a wannabe writer, you are a published author.
"Hi I'm Amy"
"Oh, well, yeah. I just published my first novel."
"The craziest thing happened at my first stop on my book tour."
Also, remember you are hanging out with literary types who are all shy. Find someone else that looks like a kindred spirit and say, "Hi I'm amy, aren't these parties hard. Do you know anyone? I don't."
You'll survive!
Good shabbas!
"Hi I'm amy, aren't these parties hard. Do you know anyone? I don't."
Ohhh, good one for cocktail parties!
Good Shabbes to you, too!
You know, it's funny what you mention about improv. I think a lot of improv & theater folks are actually verrry shy, or at least socially awkward. When you're on stage, you get to forget yourself and play a character. Plus you usually can't see the audience anyway.
I think with writing it becomes much more personal. As much as we say a piece is not about us, it seems writing is so personal and so individual that you sort of have to crawl into yourself to do it effectively. So maybe that's related to the shift? Just a thought!
Diane
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