Okay, seriously, $14K

I'm getting my nose out of my new book and getting into the swing of things.

LASIK, both eyes, $1800/eye.
Tooth whitening (My sister already costed that out for us) $400
Going to every 13 moons seminar the rest of the year, $60/each x 9, $540
Private Hebrew Tutor, a good one, weekly for the rest of the year. $75/week x 40, $3000
Private Cooking Lessons, twice a month for the rest of the year. $75/lesson x 18, $1350
Private Tango Lessons, once a week for the rest of the year. $60/week x 40, $2400
Dining room table with six chairs, so I can host dinners in my magical dining room with my new mad cooking skills. $2500

That leaves $210. With that I'll buy the food for the first meal at my new table. I'll speak hebrew and then dance tango around the table.