$3000 and The Daves

I think I should explain that second part first. Over the weekend I had a striking revelation. After a couple attempts at writing some fiction, I realized fiction is just not my bag. Never has been--when I took the fiction classes in college my teachers all said my fiction read like poetry. But not in a good way, rather, in a "this has no plot it's just a bunch of images" way. I excelled in writing papers and a memoir-focused class I took in grad school.
I exclaimed this weekend, "I need to write like David Sedaris. Or Dave Barry. I want to be a girl Dave." Yes, I want to be a girl Dave. Or, I want to publish a collection of humorous observations on a topic. And then a series of collections of humorous observations on a topic. Yeah.
In other news, let's pretend I can drink coffee like I used to and drop a big chunk of today's spending on this coffee maker/cappuccino machine/espresso dohickey. You are cordially invited over for one of Diane's fantastic lattes and shortbread cookies. Oh wait, better yet--partake in my 3 months of croissants!
What's that? You say you're not a coffee drinker? Well, no problem there--I can fix you some tea in this very nice teakettle (in cobalt blue, please). Let's throw some loose change toward nice teas and fine espresso.
Once everyone leaves, I can be found watching tv from the courtesy of my massaging lounger. Ahhhhh. And perhaps I'll give myself a facial with this yummy-sounding and very natural micropeel system.
Unrelated to any of the above, but painfully cute, two little Swarovski kittens that don't want to load--so I'll post the images later. ;)