Why I love my personal Google.

I use the personalized Google home page on my browser. It includes gmail, a few blogs, some top headlines, and my daily astrology blurb.

I was disappointed yesterday. Some things, as hard as I work to stay positive are just not moving as easily as I want. I'm perplexed when I don't get what I desire. God, how can you mean that I'm still offering you resistance?

Then I popped onto Google today and saw my horoscope.

"Set your mind on long-term relationship goals to achieve the greatest potential. Even if you over-inflate your ideal of perfect love, don't let that prevent you from enjoying the fantasies that go along with such feelings. And don't keep the best ones to yourself, for shared dreams are even better than the private ones."

Feeling better already. Seriously. Everyone knows how I want every day to start. Everyone knows how I want to be married. And everyone knows the type of man I want to stand under the chuppah with.

I want to spend my life on the verge of peeing my pants from laughing. I want someone who makes me coffee even if he hates it. I want someone who is strongly Jewish, even if he is differently Jewish. I want someone who cuts through my bullshit and gets to the core issue when I can't get there alone.

I want someone who needs me as much as I need him. Who knows that he can no longer function as an island, just as I am learning that I need people in my life. Independent and strong were good lessons, but I'm ready to fill someone's gaps and have him fill mine.

I wrote down a line from the prayerbook this morning, "After satisfaction, what?" After satisfaction, we need to be needed. I need to carry some of your burden and you need to carry some of mine.

I want someone who ispires me to cook fantastic meals. I want someone who is inspired to take care of his body, because he doesn't want to die before me. I want someone who wants me.